$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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