I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
