hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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