that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need moral support for this bender
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
