He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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