Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
