uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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