He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
