Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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