OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
