his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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