Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
