you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
