i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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