i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
