Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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