Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
