Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize