i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
