It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
