Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
