Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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