i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize