My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
