So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
