oh god the rape fog is back!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
