YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
