Its about making memories worth repressing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
