I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The best revenge is premature balding
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
