Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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