yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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