I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
