he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
