I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
