I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
