I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
