Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
