We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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