But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
