u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
