I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
