I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
