This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
