So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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