when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
