4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish I only lived at night.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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