I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
