been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
