Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so let's talk penis.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
