I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
