Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
