Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
